Jewel of an Evening Honors Women and their Stories
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MADISON – When Nancy Wettersten began experiencing twinges in her right abdomen, she knew something was wrong. And she was determined to get to the root of it. Trust Your Body
"Maybe it was because I'm a fan of Gilda Radner, or a sixth sense," Wettersten says. "I called my family physician and said, 'There's something going on and I'm not going away until we figure it out.'"
The doctor did routine examinations and said it was a urinary tract infection, but Wettersten knew it wasn't. She was persistent. Finally, through an ultrasound, they found a 12-centimeter cyst on her right ovary. But even then, it wasn't until she woke one morning in incredible pain that doctors began to suspect something more. And indeed, during surgery to remove the cyst, they found it was cancerous.
"I thought I was going to die," says Wettersten, who relates her panic at the thought of leaving her then one-year-old daughter. But she survived, and through treatment, managed to overcome her ovarian cancer.
As Wettersten shared her story to the more than 100 individuals gathered to celebrate the University of Wisconsin Paul P. Carbone Comprehensive Cancer Center's Jewel of an Evening fundraising event on Sept. 3, she concluded with a firm message.
"It's your body," she states. "If you know something is wrong, you need to stand up for yourself and tell them you're not going to go away. That is the way we survive. That is the way we take care of ourselves."
Raising Awareness
Now in its fifth year, Jewel of an Evening raises awareness and funds for the University of Wisconsin Gynecologic Oncology Program. Nearly 80,000 women develop a female pelvic cancer each year. Ovarian and uterine cancers are among the top 10 cancers affecting women's health.
"We need to raise the same level of awareness for female pelvic cancers that we have for breast cancer," notes UW Health gynecologic oncologist Ellen Hartenbach, MD. "We should model their efforts."
Wettersten echoed the sentiment.
"Tell your friends, tell your daughters, tell everyone," Wettersten urges. "Listen to your body."
According to Wettersten, knowing the symptoms, being persistent and being aware are what saves women's lives.
"Because I was persistent, I accepted help, and the wonderful care I received at the UW Carbone Cancer Center, I am here today," Wettersten concludes.
Accepting Help is Key
Like Wettersten, accepting help was a critical element in the experiences of the survivors who shared their stories during the evening. Lisa Leisure, a cervical-cancer survivor, shared that accepting help was actually the most difficult part of treatment. But, she says, "cancer is a little too big for any one person to go it alone."
Leisure continued by offering advice for anyone looking to support a friend or loved one with cancer.
"Remember, she is a woman with cancer. Meaning she is a woman first. Cancer is always second," she says.
Leisure shared that the View Beyond support group held at the UW Carbone Cancer Center was one of her best support methods during the course of treatment.
"When you have cancer, it's easy to feel alone and helpless. These women get you out of that," Leisure comments.
Knowing How to Provide Support
It can be difficult to know just how to support a woman dealing with cancer as everyone is so different. Leisure refused to hear any horror stories about people dealing with cancer. Others she knew didn't want to talk about it at all, while still others wanted all the gory details of everything that could possibly go wrong.
"E-mails, flowers, cards, make meals, run errands," Leisure offers for ways to help women. "Ask them what they want and if they don't know, just love them."
Support is what helped Rita Britt as she fought uterine and later kidney cancer.
She related the story of how one night, just after her hysterectomy, she was having a difficult time. Turned to the wall, she quietly sobbed. That's when a nurse reached for her hand and said, "It's okay. I'm here." Britt never knew who exactly it was, but said the peace that washed over her was indescribable.
"For everyone who is in this field, you have to know the power your words have," Britt shared with the audience, several of whom were staff members of the UW Carbone Cancer Center.
Grieving Helps You Heal
Britt explained that the process of dealing with cancer is a grieving one.
"It's the loss of the mirror you reflected your life in," she says.
As a person progresses through the various stages of blame, anger and even a quiet peace, it all serves a greater purpose. Eventually, if you allow yourself to go through it, you'll reach a quiet acceptance.
"You can't fight it as well and as strongly until you accept that you have cancer," Britt comments.
But even as a person accepts it, Britt reminded everyone gathered that staying focused on the present is critical. Her mother helped illustrate that point for her years before. With seven children, the big basket of laundry items to be ironed would be overwhelming. And her mother hated ironing. So she'd hide the basket under a table, and dress the table in a beautiful cloth and flowers she picked from the garden. With music playing, she would take one item at a time, carefully iron it and admire how well she had completed that piece. And she would continue, reaching under the table, taking one item at a time, focused only on that one item, until the basket was empty.
Britt summarized the story by saying, "It's only one thing. No matter how many cancers. No matter how many treatments. If we tried to take everything all at once, it would be overwhelming."
As the other two speakers of the evening shared, family and friends were integral to Britt's healing process as well. The friend from California who sent healthy muffins, her son who hid cards in the sofa, the prayer shawl someone left on her doorstep to provide comfort and peace – everything made a tremendous difference.
And, like the other speakers, Britt was philosophical as well.
"Cancer or no cancer, life goes on."
Jewel of an Evening was made possible through the support of generous donors. All funds raised from the evening will support research, physician education and support groups at the UW Carbone Cancer Center.
The Carbone Cancer Center is recognized throughout the Midwest and the nation as one of the leading innovators in cancer research, quality patient care and active community involvement. It is the only comprehensive cancer center, as designated by the National Cancer Institute, in Wisconsin.
Contributions to the Carbone Cancer Center support innovative research, patient advocacy and programs that support patients throughout their diagnosis and treatment.
Britt explained that the process of dealing with cancer is a grieving one.
"It's the loss of the mirror you reflected your life in," she says.
As a person progresses through the various stages of blame, anger and even a quiet peace, it all serves a greater purpose. Eventually, if you allow yourself to go through it, you'll reach a quiet acceptance.
"You can't fight it as well and as strongly until you accept that you have cancer," Britt comments.
But even as a person accepts it, Britt reminded everyone gathered that staying focused on the present is critical. Her mother helped illustrate that point for her years before. With seven children, the big basket of laundry items to be ironed would be overwhelming. And her mother hated ironing. So she'd hide the basket under a table, and dress the table in a beautiful cloth and flowers she picked from the garden. With music playing, she would take one item at a time, carefully iron it and admire how well she had completed that piece. And she would continue, reaching under the table, taking one item at a time, focused only on that one item, until the basket was empty.
Britt summarized the story by saying, "It's only one thing. No matter how many cancers. No matter how many treatments. If we tried to take everything all at once, it would be overwhelming."
As the other two speakers of the evening shared, family and friends were integral to Britt's healing process as well. The friend from California who sent healthy muffins, her son who hid cards in the sofa, the prayer shawl someone left on her doorstep to provide comfort and peace – everything made a tremendous difference.
And, like the other speakers, Britt was philosophical as well.
"Cancer or no cancer, life goes on."
Jewel of an Evening was made possible through the support of generous donors. All funds raised from the evening will support research, physician education and support groups at the UW Carbone Cancer Center.
The Carbone Cancer Center is recognized throughout the Midwest and the nation as one of the leading innovators in cancer research, quality patient care and active community involvement. It is the only comprehensive cancer center, as designated by the National Cancer Institute, in Wisconsin.
Contributions to the Carbone Cancer Center support innovative research, patient advocacy and programs that support patients throughout their diagnosis and treatment.
Date Published: 09/10/2008
